Thrown around not only to me but numerous other women. The reason why changes every time; it may be about how we are dressed, whether or not we accept a man’s advances, if we get a lot of male attention, display confidence, or simply live. I will also note the use of the word when women are making health decisions including birth control or abortions, when discussing sex freely, or even as victims of rape. You may hear the word about the number of people someone has had sex with but rarely is the number even accurate.
This is a word used to degrade women, to put them down and make them believe they are less than or that their sexuality is wrong. It is used to put down nearly every action or choice a woman can make. And it is not just a word or label, it becomes an identity. When called this by one person, rumors can quickly circulate and at that point be a descriptor for who you are. Such a descriptor or identity can be dangerous for the woman herself; it can make her be seen as easy and as an invitation for predators to take advantage of her.
I have also noticed the increased use of this word against black women, as we are perceived to be hypersexual and promiscuous. This stems from the “Jezebel” stereotype placed on black women since slavery times. Even now young black girls are deemed as “fast” which describes them as having “matured sexually beyond their years”. While in comparison white women or girls are seen as innocent and modest.
In comparison, men’s sexuality is normalized and their value is not tied to it. They are celebrated while women are degraded. It is believed that it is in a man’s nature to desire sex while a woman’s job is to satisfy that desire but only acceptable when tied through marriage. This maintains the oppression of the patriarchy and the idea of controlling a woman’s sexuality.
Here at SUNY Polytechnic, we have degraded women for far too long, all women but especially black women. I have endured one semester here and have seen it clearly before my own eyes. I no longer want to hear such a word. I have heard many rumors spread about myself and others concerning our sexuality, even women I am not personally friends with. But I have not heard a peep about the men who have engaged in far worse than the allegations made of the women. If and when I do hear something, it is commending them.
My question to you all is; is our sexuality your business? If we are not in an intimate relationship with you, why is our sexuality a topic of conversation? Lastly, will you give the same energy to your male counterparts as you do the women you so desperately love to discuss?