Trial Period

I feel your arms around me,

I feel your body behind me.

I feel my heart blossoming,

And then I wonder if you feel it to.

I put my hand in his

To give him more of my care.

He doesn't respond,

I cannot see his face,

I ask if he's awake.

He nods sweetly into my head.

The arms suddenly change,

Instead of reassuring

They are caging.

Closing in on my middle,

Harder, stronger at every ‘not tonight.’

Yet I fill in all his gaps

 whenever he pulls me closer.

He said he wants to kiss me

On his bed at night.

But I barely see his face

In the glaring sunlight.

I watch him care for friends,

Hugging close with jokes.

He forgets I am on the edge;

Edge of crowds, tables, his care.

My emotions are there as well.

His arms pull me back over,

The cage becomes a part of me.

A piece of my soul I've given.

I cannot, will not ask it back.

But I’ll wonder if he wants it.